Jun 30, 2008

Stranger (or more adventurous) than fiction

I originally had something else in mind to post about tonight (likely will tomorrow), but I feel compelled to tell you about my day. This is not something I normally like doing, because honestly who really cares? Most of my days are so mundane, even I wouldn't care to read about them. But today was different. Today, I went on an adventure.

It started when I left work. Driving down the highway, my front driver-side tire shredded, and it felt like I was driving in the middle of an earthquake going 70 mph. I pull over to the side of the highway to investigate and see the tire in pretty bad shape. The onramp, not 500 yards away, seemed like a safer place to be so I drove up and started changing my tire.

In changing my tire, the car jack wasn't on the steadiest of ground (I had to make due with my surroundings), so when I took off the tire, the jack fell out and my car was touching pavement. Ahh, well. Nothing a call to triple A can't fix.

I call them up, and 45 minutes later a tow truck comes and help me put my spare tire on my car. In the process, they cut my A/C line and it looks like a smoke machine was set off under my car, not unlike those used at rock concerts and laser light shows. Turns out that tow truck wasn't even from Triple A, though they were nice enough to help me free of charge.

They go off on their merry way, and I realize that my spare is also flat.

It gets better...

So my car hobbles to a nearby gas station, but they don't have any air. I get back on the road and drive, thumping all the way, to another gas station only to find out they don't have any air either. It's here that I realize if I drive any more on the tire, I'm going to shred that one and be right back where I started.

Did I mention at this point I was in north end of Hartford, CT?

For those not familiar with the area, it has a reputation for having a high crime rate. Couple that with the fact that I'm in my professional work clothes... it would be a gross understatement to say I stood out like a sore thumb. That's not social commentary, that's just an observation.

It was at this gas station that I met some of the kindest people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. First to approach me was Lenny, a middle-aged woman who lived nearby but didn't have a car. She was friendly and tried helping me with my tire. Thinking fix-a-flat would get some pressure in the tire (remember: no air at this place), we soon found out that the tire was off its bead and needed to be fixed first.

Next came Pete, a man probably in his late thirties, who saw my plight and decided to help. He suggested that we take the tire off and try to get the tire back on the wheel well. So I jacked up the car, and we removed the tire. Pete recommended we take the tire to another gas station (that had air) and fix it there. Lenny offered to watch my car while we were gone.

Though the idea did send up a lot of red flags, I considered my alternatives (very few) and took the offer. I figured I could take care of myself, should it come to that, so taking a ride with Pete didn't sound too bad. It was my stuff I was worried about. I took everything of value with me (foreshadowing: so I thought), and left the car there. I wasn't worried about the car itself, as it wasn't going anywhere with only 3 tires.

On the car ride over, I met Pete's girlfriend Aimee, roughly the same age as Pete. The two of them were incredibly friendly and very helpful in helping me get my tire fixed. We had to try a few gas stations before we finally found one that had a working air machine (what is it with Hartford gas stations?).

With the tire in proper driving condition, we brought it back to where my car was. Lenny, as promised, took good care of my car while I was away. She even noticed I accidentally left my wallet in my car and returned it to me as soon as we got back. Absolutely nothing in it was missing.

We got the tire back on and I was on my way again, only 3 short hours after I had originally left work. I'm shopping now for a new car (mine was about to die anyway).

I was incredibly lucky to have met Lenny, Pete, and Aimee. If you guys are reading this, thank you for helping out some random stranger at the Hartford Sav-Mart. I can only hope to show others the same kindness that you had shown me this evening.

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Jun 29, 2008

Stay awhile and listen...

OH. MY. GOD. Diablo 3!

Diablo 3
Yes. Just... yes.

For those not in the know, Blizzard is one of the leading video game companies in the industry. They have revolutionized the Real-Time Strategy genre (Warcraft series, Starcraft), have the most successful Massively Multiplayer Online game (World of Warcraft), and have set the gold standard on the Action RPG genre (Diablo series). This is not hyperbole. If you're a gamer and Blizzard speaks, you listen.

And speak they have. This past week, Blizzard was posting a cryptic image as a splash page to their website. Each day, the image revealed more (but still never enough) until this Saturday, where Blizzard spilled the beans at their invitational event they held in Paris: Diablo 3 is coming!

The Diablo games hold a very soft spot in my heart as a gamer, as I've probably spent more time pointing and clicking my way through hell and back than is probably healthy for me. Diablo 1 occupied a lot of my time in high school, whereas Diablo 2 was most of my college days. I've got a bajillion stories that I could relate and likely will as time goes on and more details about Diablo 3 are released. But for now, let's bask in the initial deets.

Though Blizzard's set a target date for "when they're done" (grr), I couldn't be any more excited about the game. Already, they have revealed that two of the playable classes are the Barbarian and a new class, Witch Doctor. Check it out for yourself at their website:

http://www.blizzard.com/diablo3/

This is something I'm keeping a close eye on and will add my reactions to it each and every time some new details are released. Right now I'm still fawning over the cinematics and gameplay videos. BRING ON THE SECRET COW LEVEL DIABLO!

Click here to continue reading "Stay awhile and listen..."

Jun 27, 2008

Rant: Everything is Toasted

When the hell did we start toasting everything we eat?

Before I hit my stride, let me state unequivocally that I am a big fan of fire. Love the stuff. Grills the burgers, keeps alight the campfires, warms the fireplaces and causes Frankenstein to go crazy. It's got a billion practical uses, and a million not-so-practical but really cool uses. Also, it demands your respect, because it will f*** you up if you ever cross it. One heckuva chemical reaction, if you ask me.

But toasting... toasting is like the retarded brother of fire. It makes your food marginally warmer and more dry and crispy. Outside of that, it does nothing. Toast, prior to the toaster, is still f***ing bread.

This wouldn't necessarily bother me, really, if it weren't for the fact that somehow the act of toasting your food has permeated our entire social structure. It would be fine if toasting was a value-add, but it's now the default.

Bagels? Toasted. Sandwhiches? Toasted. Wraps? Toasted. Just about everything bread-related has to be toasted before you eat it now.

An example: I went to Dunkin Donuts and wanted a bagel with cream cheese. I order a bagel with cream cheese. The woman behind the counter asks me if I want it toasted. I say no, I'd rather it not be. My bagels comes to me toasted. I ask them to take less action and spend less time and energy on my order, and they go ahead and do it anyway.

It won't take long before there are heating instructions written on the box of Golden Grahams. And you know the day is coming where you can carry around a portable George Foreman grill for the times you just need things toasted on the go.

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Jun 26, 2008

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

A link to an excerpt from "Everybody Loves Hypnotoad" can be fou- ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv9TqWDm_yU

To find out what the hell it is I'm talking about, wikipedia can best summar- ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_alien_characters_from_Futurama#Hypnotoad

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Jun 25, 2008

The Unwind's Fitness Program

Picture not to scaleInspired by my friend's weight loss blog, I think if I am going to be serious about losing weight, I'm going to have to make it public domain. I don't plan on turning The Unwind into a weight loss blog, but weekly or bi-weekly updates (haven't decided yet) of my progress should be enough to keep a man honest about this.

I currently weigh 300 even. My goal is to lose 50 pounds. That is by no means where I want to stop, but it's an initial goal all the same. Here's the game plan:

  • 5-7 times a day week (thanks all for pointing out the error) using Wii Fit for about 15-20 minutes
  • 3 times a week going to the gym for a more rigorous workout. Minimum 30 minutes aerobics, 30 minutes weightlifting
  • Weekly WeightWatchers meetings, to help guide me to better food choices
  • Posting progress here to hold me accountable
One thing I've noticed about Wii Fit, is that I'm not sold on it as a weight loss product by itself. Don't get me wrong, some of the exercises I do with it I can feel the burn and I work up a sweat. But I see the real value in the daily tracking of your weight. When I track my weight daily, it almost makes me neurotic about it and makes me more aware of what I eat and when I exercise.

And that's a good thing.

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Jun 24, 2008

More Hasslehoff than you can handle

So long Facebook! Goodbye MySpace! Hello... David Hasslehoff?

From deep within the "Dear God, Why?" area of the internet, comes a new kind of social networking. One that revolves solely around Knight Rider and Baywatch star David Hasslehoff. For real.

I can't really tell you much more about it because my head hurts when I look at the site for too long. Most everything outside of the splash page requires you to be a member or sign up. It apparently has videos, a forum, active members and-

I'm sorry, I can't do this. It's Hasslehoff. I'll go great lengths to find the internet's dirtiest, darkest corners, but even this is crossing some kind of line. This is what a computer must feel like when it tries to divide by zero.

One thing I can say, with confidence, is that overexposure to concentrated David Hasslehoff is bad for one's health. Please view "HoffSpace" responsibly:

http://www.davidhasselhoff.com/

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Atlantic City Water Show

As promised, I've embedded the water show I saw at Caesar's Pier Shops in Atlantic City below. I was on the third floor looking down. Though this was done with my humble point-and-shoot digital camera, and unfortunately caught some of the chatter of nearby individuals, I think this video still captures the awesomeness of the show I saw.

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Jun 23, 2008

Viva Atlantic City!

Fell asleep before I could post this last night, but Atlantic City was awesome. I had a lot of fun, and saw Debbie Reynolds (Princess Leia's mother) in concert. I had no idea who she was prior, but she sang well and it was a decent show nonetheless.

The only gambling I did was at a 2-4 limit hold 'em table at the Tropicana. I'm fairly decent at the game, but if you're going to lose money in a casino (which I did), that has got to be the best way to do it. A little bit of money goes a long way on those tables. Armed with only $100, I sat down for almost 3 hours getting a steady stream of free drinks and chatting up some other people. Fun times.

And then there are the casino buffets. I am probably about 20 pounds heavier today from them.

Also, I saw a water show that I took some video of. It was really cool, and I'll upload it tonight when I get the chance.

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Jun 18, 2008

Unwind updates and other housekeeping

Figured I'd take care of a few housekeeping items.

In order to not clutter up the homepage too much, I've implemented a "continue to read X" link at the bottom of the posts. Unfortunately I haven't gotten it working perfectly, as every post currently has one, whether or not I've hidden any of the post.

Currently, just today's Horatio Comics post has anything worth going to the "continue to read X" link. In the future, I hope to only have that link show up when there's content behind it, but I largely don't know what I'm doing and am learning as I'm implementing. Bear with me.

Also, as a heads-up, I'll be on vacation Thursday and Friday. And since I'm the sole content contributor on this blog, that means The Unwind is going on vacation too. Sorry to disappoint all 5 of you (myself included in that number). I'll be back next Monday, hopefully with amusing anecdotes and pictures to share.

Click here to continue reading "Unwind updates and other housekeeping"

Photoshop Flailing: Horatio Caine Comics

Having recently gone on about how awesome Horatio Caine is, I stumbled upon a Horatio Caine comic panel with no words associated with them. So naturally, I had to go and do something about that. The credit goes to Bigger Than Cheeses, who were the ones who drew this up originally, likely with their own punchline.

The blank looks like this:

Horatio Caine original

As you can see, I had some resolution issues with resizing them to fit this blog. But if you click the comics (including the ones after the break), you'll be taken to a much cleaner version.

Click the below link to continue reading past the break.


Horatio Comic 1

Horatio Comic 2

Horatio Comic 3

Horatio Comic 4

Horatio Comic 5

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It's a good time to be addicted to TF2

Oh man, Team Fortress 2 keeps getting better.

Courtesy of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, news was spilled today that thew new Pyro pack is going live on Thursday, with all new achievements to earn and weapons to unlock. Additionally, TF2 will be free this weekend to those who don't already own it. It's kinda like those free HBO weekends you'd have once a year, only this is like a million times cooler. Keep an eye on Steam's main page, which I assume will have details closer to this weekend on how to score some free TF2 gaming.

Be advised, if you're going to be playing it for the first time this weekend, you're pretty much going to be playing on servers with mostly Pyro's as people try to unlock stuff. Not that it's a terribly bad thing, just not the norm.

Additionally, the Meet the Sniper video is out and it's freaking hilarious. Check it out below:

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Jun 17, 2008

Alternative Broadcasting Mediums: Instant Messaging

The U.S. Open had a playoff round today, with Tiger Woods defeating Rocco Mediate in 19 holes of play. That normally wouldn't be mentioned here as you could find that story anywhere. No, it's how I witnessed Tiger win that is what's noteworthy.

In a ridiculous (read: awesome) abuse of technology, my friend (who runs his personal weight loss blog, Jimmy Tango's Fatbusters) gave me a play-by-play via Instant Message at work. Where others were trying to have the game stream live over the internet, and having difficulty with the bandwidth issues, my feed was speedy and reliable. It was a rather enjoyable way to "read" the tournament, as I could not only listen but participate in the broadcast as well by asking questions and making comments.

It got me thinking that Instant Message could be a viable sports communication medium. Think about it, one person could be giving a play-by-play of a game which then gets distributed from a central server outward to all those "listening in". Those listening could then be free to ask questions, which the server could interpret and query against any information it had to return an answer. If you could couple this with flexibility of service (could be used by any IM protocol; chat room capability, etc.), I think this would offer the following great advantages:

  • Lightweight service - while I have no empirical numbers to back me up, a few kilobytes of text a minute has to be less of a bandwidth hog than streaming an event live over the internet.
  • Interactive broadcasting experience - This is where this medium shines: the audience can actually enhance its own experience by asking questions, getting the information and statistics they want, when they're looking for it.
  • Data mining - Want to know what your audience really likes? What they're really focused on? Data mine all the text that is generated in the course of the broadcasts. Questions the audience asks, comments the audience makes, languages the audience speaks, IM protocols it uses. There is a huge potential of information that can be gleaned from the audience, all of which could better help align future advertisements and services that better suit the audience's wants and needs.
Now, I'm a pragmatist and realize that this would never get off the ground unless there was a good business case for it. And this isn't something you can easily shoehorn in Google's AdSense or other online advertisement services - IM protocols and chat rooms currently don't support that in a non-obtrusive way.

But couldn't one of the big sports companies like ESPN find value here? Not only do they have the resources to implement something like this, they have a bajillion different services. If this service can reach a critical mass, simply knowing what a good portion of their fan base is thinking and what their preferences really are (through data mining of their broadcasts) could be of great value to help shape their other offerings.

At very least, if this could syphon off some of the people who would stream video live from their website it should reduce their bandwidth costs.

I don't know, maybe I'm a just a digital dreamer.

Click here to continue reading "Alternative Broadcasting Mediums: Instant Messaging"

Jun 16, 2008

Captain Planet Begins: the live-action movie

I was thinking the other day how much I would like a live-action Captain Planet movie. Instead of taking it seriously, though, I decided to "improve" upon the formula a little bit and shake things up a bit. Here's the cast of the movie I want to see:

Captain Planet

Captain Planet was the go-to guy to catch the bad guys. When someone was looting and polluting, you could always count on him to make it right. On top of that, he had a great mullet. That pretty much sums up Dog the Bounty Hunter, who I think is perfect for the role.


Captain Planet


Gaia

Gaia was the one who first rounded up the planeteers and set them forth with guidelines to protect the planet and whatnot. I don't really remember, because I tuned her out whenever she was on the screen - she was rather boring and getting in the way of the ACTUAL planet saving. You know who else I kinda tuned out? Fran Drescher, who played the the nanny in "The Nanny". Gaia was a nanny of sorts, and Drescher's laugh really grated me the wrong way, so I learned to tune it out.


Gaia


Ma-ti

Ma-ti could talk with animals... seriously. Where most people would be labelled as insane and carted off to a loony farm, Ma-ti converses and communes with animals. Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer, is his real-life counterpart. Whether or not he can actually talk with dogs remains to be seen... but he does have a hit show and makes more money than me, so we can definitely rule out insanity.


Ma-ti


Gi

If I were to ask you who the least useful planeteer was, you'd probably go with Ma-ti and the power of heart. I'd have to disagree with you - unless there was a body of water around, Gi was limited in what she could really do. Granted, she did come through on a number of occasions, but she was the planeteer equivalent of Aquaman of the Super Friends. For that reason, I want Pamela Anderson filling out this role. In Baywatch, she was always around water (the ocean) and has yet to capture that kind of success elsewhere.


Gi


Kwame, Linka and Wheeler

I really have nothing to say here. These were arguably the three most useful planeteers in the bunch having control of the elements of earth, wind and fire. However, if I were to improve on the formula I would use the actual Earth, Wind and Fire simply because that would be awesome. Sure it doesn't work out number-wise, but who cares? Besides controlling the planeteers' elements they would inherently control the power of funk, which would make them all the more versatile.



Earth, Wind and Fire (collectively and literally)


Hoggish Greedly

Every story needs a villain. One of the staple Captain Planet bad guys, Hoggish Greedly was meant to represent the evils of industrialization and greed. Industrialization and greed aside, you'd have a hard time convincing me they didn't originally base him entirely off of Louie Anderson.


Hoggish Greedly

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Jun 13, 2008

Team Fortress 2: Our intelligence has been captured

Yes sir, The Unwind is currently without intelligence. That is, after seeing the below video on TF2 griefing, or the act of being a Phillup in-game, I nearly fell over laughing and couldn't hold a coherent thought. Your mileage may vary, particularly if you haven't played the game before.

Be warned this video contains some adult language (which is why it's not embedded), as the sole intention of the person recording it was to piss off everyone else in the game. It's simple math: internet + anger = cussing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPoKaoJu0m4

In other TF2 dealings, I had found an excellent resource on all things TF2: http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Main_Page. It has everything from strategies to class matchups to voice actors for each class. Everything anyone (me) would need to take their game a little too seriously.

All kidding aside, this is a great game and I have yet to get tired of it after many months of playing - no small feet this day in age. If you play (the PC version), leave your handle in the comments section and we'll capture some control points next time I log on.

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Jun 12, 2008

Horatio Caine Is Awesome

I'm a CSI fan and love going on the evidence-hunt-turned-whodunnit adventures the different shows and locales offer. And while the original Las Vegas crew is by far my favorite, I do have a soft spot for the CSI crew in Miami. Particularly Horatio Caine, the head of said Miami CSI, played by David Caruso.

Horatio Caine is a ridiculously awesome character. For one, I'm pretty sure his sunglasses are the source of his power, because he's usually got them on his person and they almost always make an appearance when he's being dramatic.

Additionally, Horatio Caine's neck doesn't function correctly all the time. His head is often tilted when he's talking with other characters, so much so that my neck starts to hurt if he's on the screen too long because I'm trying to compensate for the angle. I suppose no neck would be able to carry the ego and personality that Horatio has to shoulder. It is solely his cross to bear.

But the most defining characteristic is the one-liners that only Horatio can deliver. They are rife with dramatic pauses, puns, and sunglasses, and are delivered hilariously deadpan. They usually happen at the beginning of the episode, right after the body has been found. Taken within the format of the show, they're delivered to great comedic effect right before it cuts into The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again".

However, if you take Horatio Caine's one-liners in the context of the character's experiences, it gets downright disturbing. When he sees a dead body for the first time, his first instinct is to put on his sunglasses be a wise-ass? Is that really what goes on in the head of a forensic investigator? I'm not a psychologist, but I'm pretty sure that's borderline psychotic. Take a look for yourself below in a compilation of Horatio one-liners:


Witty charm, or cavalier sadism? You decide.

Either way, Horatio Caine is the only man alive that could get away with the above one-liners. And that makes him awesome.

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Jun 11, 2008

Photoshop Flailing: Gurn, Baby, Gurn

Once again, I focus my time and hone in on my photoshopping skills. This time, my muse was a recent post on gurning. I wanted to take a look and see which fictional characters would be natural gurners. While the execution (shopping) may have been less than perfect, the ideas nonetheless startle me. To the shops!

First up is Hannibal Lecter, who is not so much doing a gurn as he is scaring the crap out of me for not being restrained.

hannibalgurn
Hello, Clarice.

Jack Torrance drank a little too much of the red rum.
theshininggurn
HERE'S JOHNNY!

This one is one of the Nazi's from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
raidersgurn
Whatever you do, don't look directly at it.

And finally, Uncle Fester doing a gurn in his Sunday best.
unclefestergurn
Creepy AND Kooky.

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Jun 10, 2008

Proposal: Unwind's Pedestrian's Walk


Another "at-risk" leg under-user

Citizens of the Internet, I am here today to inform you of an alarming trend: leg under-use. Cultural pressures, the widespread availability of automobile technology and sedentary lifestyles have caused this latest health epidemic. If this trend continues, our legs may soon become the body's next "pinky toe" - nice to have appendages, but wouldn't be really used for anything anymore.

It's time to change that. New research suggests that leading a more pedestrian lifestyle can help stem the onset and in some cases even reverse the effects of leg under-use.

I propose an annual "Pedestrian's Walk", a walkathon to promote pedestrian awareness. I envision a large outdoor venue where physical activities, games and (of course) walking will take place. Ideally, there would be refreshments (still unsure if there should be alcohol) and entertainment as well, as this walk is meant to entertain as much as it is to inform. The event would be open to all who catch word of it, all in the spirit of pedestrian awareness.

Let me know what you think. If you, dear readers, think this idea has merit and I can get the logistics of the event worked out, then maybe - just maybe - we can help win the fight against leg under-use together.

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Jun 9, 2008

If you keep making that face, it's going to get stuck like that

Have you ever made a funny face before? Whether it be to make someone laugh, or scare a little kid on Halloween, everyone has. According to Wikipedia (the universal source of all truth), this distorted facial expression is known as a "gurn".

Some people across the pond seem to take this activity a little too seriously. In England, they have gurning competitions where the contestants have to make the most ridiculous faces they can while sticking their head through a horse collar. Picture in your mind what that looks like. Then take a look at the following world gurning champion ten years running, Tommy Mattinson, with the Queen of England:


The Queen is giving the same "wtf" expression you probably have on your face right now


I also found a few other gurning resources online (again) thanks to Wikipedia. If you want to see more gurning pictures, get your head checked check out the following links below:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/3670504.stm
http://www.thecumbriadirectory.com/Cumbria_Traditions/Gurning/Gurning.php
http://ansaman.site88.net/secondgurnrules.html

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Jun 6, 2008

Ha ha! Logic!

A college buddy and I recently had this exchange:


College Friend: Friday is opposite day... blog it
me: that means you just gave me a command to not blog it
CF: don't blog it!
me: ok, I won't
CF: good
CF: my head is about to expload [sic]


Question: Did I lie to him by posting this? Show all your work for full credit.

Bonus question: Can I believe your answer? Assume it's Friday no matter when you respond.

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Holy crap, it's been a month

I can't believe it's been a month already since I started The Unwind.

Blogging for The Unwind has been a terrifyingly exciting experience for me, and is unlike anything else I've done before. You know that nervousness you get when you speak publicly? It's sort of like that feeling hitting you retroactively, especially with people I interact with in real life. I know in my rational brain I have no reason to feel this - it's just kind of a knee-jerk reaction. I look forward to overcoming that feeling in the future, as it'll no doubt help me in other facets of my life.

But there are upsides. For one, I'm having an absolute blast and am finding the more I write, the better writer I become. The same is true with being creative: I feel as though I am more creative having a month now under my belt. I'm also learning a few skills and dabbling in some new technologies in the process, which never hurts. And lastly (but not least-ly) I've gotten a loyal core following that has been really supportive and given me some great, honest feedback. I can't thank you you all enough.

Also, I've kind of settled on a few details about the blog that I'll lay out here:

  • I'll try and update every weekday. That seems like the right frequency to me from both a schedule-management and a content generating perspective.
  • I'm under no obligation to censor anything here, but I do need to be able to be proud of what I've put out on The Unwind. Therefore, this blog is going to stay relatively clean and respectful.
  • While I do have personal, social and professional lives, I'll be intentionally vague about them here to keep them separate. I'll relate stories and experiences, but no names or specifics - I respect mine and others' privacy and I really don't feel like putting my job in jeopardy over a blog.
  • No, seriously, I can't thank you all enough for the support.
It's been a great month. Here's to many more months (years?) of electronic shenanigans and tomfoolery!

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Jun 5, 2008

Science has failed me

Detroit has won the Stanley Cup tonight, meaning that my thoroughly scientific method of predicting the end of the series may have been flawed. Congrats, Red Wings, for winning the Stanley Cup and slapping 1995's prediction in the face!

http://scores.espn.go.com/nhl/recap?gameId=280604016

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Houston, we have WiiFit

I was able to secure a copy of WiiFit today and will post in the near future about my initial reactions to it and how the progress is coming thusfar. I do plan, however, on taking you all on through a long, strange journey as I transform my body from this:



To this:




I'm thinking it'll probably take me 3, maybe 4 weeks tops. Savvy?

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Jun 4, 2008

Prediction (NHL '95): The 2008 Stanley Cup winner is...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm about to make a bold prediction. Your 2008 Stanley Cup winner will be the Pittsburgh Penguins who will win in 7.

Granted, I know at this point the series currently stands 3-2 in favor of the Detroit Red Wings, so there's a much greater chance I'm right about this than I would have been at the beginning of the series, but there is a method to my madness - science is backing me up on this one. My method was simple: have a computer simulate the game of hockey and determine the winner. That should be a fair and accurate way of determining who the best team in hockey is in 2008, yes?

To do this, I fired up NHL '95 for the Sega Genesis and set out to have the Pittsburgh Penguins host the Detroit Red Wings (Game 6), and if needed the Red Wings host the Penguins (Game 7). The results are below as well as some highlights of the games.


Not now, John Shrader. Please get off-camera... IT'S STANLEY CUP HOCKEY TIME!

Game 6:

Game 6 saw a lot of penalties, possibly because the referees had nothing better to do. Overall, players from both teams were using all of their 10 frames of animation very nicely and were able to pull off such complex maneuvers worthy of professional hockey such as "skate left", "carry puck", "check" and my favorite "shoot puck". Detroit 2, Pittsburgh 4.

Scoring Summary -
  • 1st period, PIT PP goal, #17 T. Sandstrom (R. Tocchet)
  • 1st period, PIT goal, #7 J. Mullen
  • 1st period, PIT goal, #32 P. Taglianeti
  • 2nd period, PIT goal, #66 M. Lemieux (J. Jagr)
  • 3rd period, DET goal, #19 S. Yzerman (R. Sheppard)
  • 3rd period, DET goal, #16 V. Konstantov
Game 7:

Pittsburgh's win pushed the Stanley Cup finals to Game 7, where it was a hard fought game most of the way through. The virtual crowd was going wild, right up until they realized the game was pretty much over and shuffled out to their virtual cars so they could avoid the virtual traffic. Pittsburgh 5, Detroit 2.

Scoring Summary -
  • 1st period, PIT goal, #68 J. Jagr
  • 1st period, PIT goal, #25 K. Stevens (M. Lemieux, L. Murphy)
  • 1st period, PIT goal, #66 M. Lemieux (K. Stevens)
  • 2nd period, DET goal, #19 S. Yzerman (K. Primeau)
  • 3rd period, DET goal, #22 D. Ciccarelli
  • 3rd period, PIT goal, #25 K. Stevents (K. Samuelsson, T. Barrasso)
  • 3rd period, PIT goal, #10 R. Francis
Highlights of the games:


These highlights brought to you in HD (where available)

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Jun 2, 2008

Tropic Thunder Viral Video and Lord Stanley's Cup

Premise: Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. are trying to make a viral video to promote a new movie they're starring in, Tropic Thunder. Jack Black brings the slapstick, Robert Downey Jr. brings the personality, and Ben Stiller doesn't screw it up too badly. It made me laugh and I'm going to make with the sharings now:

http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1588375&vid=237158

It probably feels like I'm phoning this one in tonight (hint: I am), but game 5 of the Stanley cup still hasn't finished as of the writing of this post. I'm not even a huge fan of hockey, but with triple overtime and the championship potentially up for grabs tonight, the excitement is thick enough to choke on.

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Engrish pedometer instructions

Having hinted at it previously, I've decided to post the instructions to that infernal pedometer from last week. They are written in glorious, glorious Engrish, which at times can make little to no sense. My personal favorite is one of the notes, "4) Breakable does not drop and wet".

Enjoy!

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