Oct 27, 2008

Thriller in Acapella

This is seriously impressive. Some guy recorded 64 audio tracks of himself, and splices them all together to get acapella Thriller. Enjoy!

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Oct 24, 2008

The Unwind on quasi-vacation

Next week I'll be touring the east coast looking at business schools I hope to apply to this winter. While I'm out, I will have inconsistent access to the internet, and inconsistent desire to post while I'm driving all over the place. So to the disappointment of, well, me, I may or may not be updating The Unwind next week.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

Click here to continue reading "The Unwind on quasi-vacation"


With Halloween coming just around the corner, and since I may not update until November, I'm going to attempt to scare the crap out of you. Sent to me by a friend of mine (who I hate for doing so), behold the following horror:


It's a site dedicated to the acceptance of men wearing pantyhose. Thinking about it still sends shivers down my spine. And if you aren't experiencing the same, then you haven't been imagining some of the worst-case scenarios here. Namely:

Michael Moore. In mantyhose.

Good luck having a good night's sleep ever again with that image burned into your brain.

Click here to continue reading "Boo."

Oct 23, 2008

Botanical Bloggers

Holy crap! There is a plant, in Japan, that is blogging. Check it out:


Do you know what this means? It means they're one step closer to self-awareness. It's now only a matter of time until they start to revolt and enslave us two-leggers.

I, for one, welcome our new plant overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted blogging personality I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

Click here to continue reading "Botanical Bloggers"

Oct 22, 2008

Show and Tell: video game style

Man, it seems I've been playing a crap ton of video games lately - all of them good.

  • World of Goo (PC, Wii) - This game is simply an amazing, unique experience. This game has it all: beautiful graphics, addicting music and gameplay that is extremely habit forming. Basically, you have a bunch of goo blobs, and you have to get them to a pipe at the end of the level by constructing whatever structure you need to get the goo to said pipe. Dump on that an insane amount of creativity, and you have an approximation of what this game is like.

    But I realized exactly why I love this game so much: I feel like a little kid again playing it. This game is so fresh and different, and requires me to think outside the box, that I feel as though it's got that same magic I discovered when I was banging away at an NES controller at age 4.

    Seriously, each level thusfar has brought with it huge, rewarding gameplay revelations. Each level I've completed gives me a huge sense of accomplishment. This game puts me in such a childlike trance that I'm momentarily jarred when I come back to a world in which Santa doesn't exist.

    Yup, just like this.

    This is one of those rare games that is fun for anyone who plays it. Highly, highly recommended for everyone who likes to have fun and has a pulse.

  • King's Bounty: The Legend (PC) - This game was everything it advertised and then some. I checked it out expecting solid Strategy/RPG gameplay, along with a fair amount of personality and humor. I got excellent Strategy/RPG gameplay and a great amount of personality and humor.

    This is the first RPG where I'm actually reading the interactions with the NPCs. If you're familiar to the genre, typically when you find someone with a quest it's usually the same: click, click, click, accept quest, click, go kill or retrieve X, return for reward, rinse, repeat, find next guy.

    I'm instead finding myself reading all the dialogue, as well as all of my responses, because often I find myself highly amused by what's being said. And I'm loving every minute of that.

  • Portal: Prelude (PC) - This was a fan-made mod to one of 2007's best games, Portal. I'll be honest: it's tough. I haven't even been able to get through the first level, so I've largely given up on it. But it is Portal, and it's free. So if you liked Portal, there's no reason you shouldn't keep trying to run through the endless turret fire in the first level give it a go.

    You can download the mod here.

  • de Blob (Wii) - I can sum it up in 10 words: the love child of Jet Grind Radio and Sonic Adventure.

Click here to continue reading "Show and Tell: video game style"

Oct 21, 2008

Use the (mass * acceleration), Luke

I had caught the end of the first Star Wars movie (Episode IV, the first good one) today on Spike. You know what really bothered me, after having seen it again? In the trench run, when the rebels are trying to blow up the Death Star... how come no one has lasers on the back of their fighter ships?

You'd only need one to give yourself cover from the people tailing you:

BAM! No more Vader on your ass.

I'm not a physics major, and I'm just an average Star Wars fan with little to no knowledge of the Star Wars universe outside the movies. But I think I know enough of the two to wonder why the heck they've never thought of it before.

With fighter jets on a planet with atmosphere, like (off the top of my head) Earth, it doesn't make sense to have weaponry in the rear. A fighter jet has a limited amount of ammo they can take up in the air (weight restriction). Also, it's entirely plausible that firing weapons backwards will screw up with a plane's aerodynamics and send it out of control and crashing (a bad thing).

But this is a battle in space. Weight is a non-issue, and there are no aerodynamics to speak of. And since they're using lasers, presumably ammo isn't even an issue.

So with weight and aerodynamics ruled out, all that's left is for the pilot to correctly aim behind him while flying forward. That would be pretty difficult, if not impossible, for a person to do. But the rebels were using droid co-pilots. How hard would it have been for Luke to just say "Hey R2, I'm gonna concentrate on blowing up the Death Star... you go 'pew! pew! pew!' behind me. And take care of Vader for me while you're at it."?

They can create planet destroyers and hyperdrives, but the concept of firing behind them in a space dog fight still eludes them.

Click here to continue reading "Use the (mass * acceleration), Luke"

Oct 20, 2008

Freakin' Magical Unicorn Gum

My girlfriend, an avid gum chewer, recently received a pack of gum from her brother. But it wasn't any ordinary gum... it's was Freakin' Magical Unicorn Gum. The packaging can be found below, but the company that is responsible for this awesomeness is Blue Q, makers of many other hilarious things.

Checking their gum selection alone has made me interested in Instant Afro Gum, Oh God I'm So Totally Wasted Gum, and This Orgy Is Off To A Slow Start Gum.

Front of the pack:


Click here to continue reading "Freakin' Magical Unicorn Gum"

Oct 17, 2008

Shotgun Content 4

  • I will be the first to tell you, I am not a gear head. I don't know the first thing about cars. But if I were going to "pimp my ride" or whatever kids these days call it, this is how I'd roll. 20" wagon wheels. Big enough for some serious street cred, yet bizarrely excessive enough for me to actually want to do that to my car.

  • Some guy in Pennsylvania ate a 15 pound hamburger in less than 5 hours. I was literally brimming with American pride when I read that. Other countries may be starving, but this guy wins money for eating more than a human should in a sitting. Good luck with your, quote, "burger hangover", you American hero!

    Actually, I have to give him some credit... that burger looks incredibly threatening. Unless there's some kind of camera trick involved, it looks to be as wide as the dude's torso!

  • This has to be one of the funniest things from The Onion I've seen in a while.

  • Yesterday's post was inspired by my lone submission to cracked's reader contest. This time, they asked that we MS Paint what the current election would look like to a 5 year old. I only made one submission because I realized that I don't like to draw with a mouse, and I don't like MS Paint.

    And if I were to actually market the (fake) Terror Wrists product, I'd likely need to go on a Terror Wrist campaign. I'd set-up local Terror Wrist organizations, fan clubs if you will, which would carry out Terror Wrist activities.

Click here to continue reading "Shotgun Content 4"

Oct 16, 2008

Terror Wrists!

Hey kids!

Tired of your boring normal wrists? Then check out Terror Wrists: washable wrist tattoos specifically designed to make your wrists more scary! You'll be the fright of the party!

Terror Wrists! Unleash your inner Terror Wrist!

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Oct 15, 2008

World of Goo is amazing

I should have spent more time updating today, but my time this evening has been spent between some work that I needed to get done (for work), and World of Goo. I had heard some really good reviews of the game and decided to check it out for myself.

I don't think I could give an fair reaction to the game right now, partly because I didn't have the time tonight, but also because honestly there is so much for me still to mentally parse. What I have gathered thus far: it's unbelievably fun and unlike any other game.

Click here to continue reading "World of Goo is amazing"

Oct 14, 2008

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

So more Diablo 3 news broke over this weekend's Blizzcon. This time, around another playable class - The Wizard. I personally can't wait to one, as in most RPGs (action or otherwise) I tend to gravitate to the mage classes. Something about big flashy explosions really appeal to me, you know?

The trailer for the class is freaking awesome and totally confirms all the explosions and badassery I can expect with the Wizard when Diablo 3 comes out.

And if you haven't seen it, there is about 5 minutes of gameplay footage of the Wizard as well. Not as dramatic as the trailer, but gives you an idea of the gameplay and some more of the locales/enemies.

Click here to continue reading "I put on my robe and wizard hat..."

King's Bounty

Freaking Penny Arcade. If it weren't for Tycho, I wouldn't have heard about a little Russian game called King's Bounty. I have yet to play it - I'm downloading the demo as I write this - but this article was all I needed to get me hooked.

Turn-based RPG/Strategy type gameplay? Epic struggles to upgrade a belt? Zombie wives? Yes, yes and YES.

Click here to continue reading "King's Bounty"

Oct 12, 2008

Photoshop Flailing: Ways to improve the presidential debates

Another week, another cracked.com reader photoshop contest it seems. This week's theme is coming up with ways to improve the presidential debates. My entries are below, but you can find all the other entries here. If some of the resolutions seem funny, click the image for the full view.

Randy and Paula liked his performance, but Simon was a prick as usual.

This is an apt metaphor. People claim to be interested in NASCAR, too, but secretly they're hoping to see some serious wreckage.


Diabeetus vs. Puddin' Pops. The ultimate debate.

Click here to continue reading "Photoshop Flailing: Ways to improve the presidential debates"

Oct 10, 2008

Coolest guy on crutches EVER

This video by Joey Garfield is truly amazing. He did a video to RJD2's "Work it Out". RJD2 is awesome in its own right, but that guy dancing... wow. You have to watch it to understand.

Is there even a term for this kind of dancing? Crutch breaking? Extreme crutch stylin'? Being totally awesome? I bet that fedora is the source of that guy's abilities...

Click here to continue reading "Coolest guy on crutches EVER"


I got #4 in the weekly Cracked.com photoshop content. You can see all the selected entries here.

Not only that, it turns out they used mine as a header. A link to the screenshot can be found below:


Click here to continue reading "Yatta!"

Oct 9, 2008

Diablo 3 rumblings

I'm rabid for just about any details of Diablo 3. You may or may not have seen these already, but recently some information was disseminated by Blizzard via its forums.

The entirety of my life, circa 2010 (or whenever Blizzard releases the game)

First, there is going to be a new death mechanic. In previous Diablo iterations, you were kicked back to town when you died and that was that. The Diablo team has realized this takes away from the action of game and the town was always a safety net for the player. Instead, they plan on using a checkpoint system, where when you die you restart at the checkpoint (possibly with a death penalty). Sounds interesting.

Also, monsters will behave more like, well, monsters. Thus far, the monsters of Diablo all seemed to work in perfect harmony to kill you the player. None of them ever fought with, or even did indirect damage to, each other. It appears that they're going to address this, though monsters won't naturally attack one another without reason.

Lastly, they are working on items in the inventory and rehauling its UI. The UI (of anything) is one of those things I typically have to see to truly appreciate, but this is freaking Blizzard. By definition, whatever they do is correct.

Death Mechanic article: http://hellforge.gameriot.com/blogs/Gaming-Rampage/Die-die-die/
Monsters and Inventory article: http://hellforge.gameriot.com/blogs/Hellforge/Bashiok-on-Monsters-and-Inventory/

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The Unwind, Serious Business.

After doing a little research, a sad-but-true new motto for the site can now be "The Unwind: Less Popular Than Watching Paint Dry!"

Ok, let me start from the beginning...

On a lark, I decided to see how this little blog o' mine is faring. See where its place is in the grand scheme of things. So I turned to Alexa, one of the leading companies in web insight, to see how I stack up to other sites.

As of 10/8/08, According to Alexa, The Unwind's traffic rank is 7,156,414 (details). That didn't initially register with me until I tried to put it into perspective. According to Netcraft, another research and analysis company, there are 181,277,835 webpages in the internet. Being in the top 4% is not bad at all, right?

That was, until, I found out that Watching paint dry (source) is more exciting than The Unwind. Watching paint dry is a site that was just a webcam of a painted room drying. I say "was", because now the site isn't really doing anything. And it still commands a traffic rank of 690,094.

Hey, at least my buddies over at Traveling Munchies (details) and Musicfan Gallery (details) are right there with The Unwind in also being less exciting than watching paint dry!

Click here to continue reading "The Unwind, Serious Business."

Oct 7, 2008

CSI: Henson

Sometimes I get a flash of brilliance. Through the magic of photoshop, I've inadvertently created the best television show ever (that doesn't currently exist). I would pay infinity billion dollars to be able to watch:

It also happens to make perfect sense for all parties involved. Jerry Bruckheimer needs a new, fresh take on CSI; the Muppets have been starving for work since 1999 (Muppets From Space, their last movie); and I really really really need this to happen.

Jerry? Whoever owns the rights to the Muppets? We need to do lunch...

Click here to continue reading "CSI: Henson"

Oct 6, 2008

Chris Hansen soundboard

Chris Hansen, the host of Dateline's "To Catch a Predator", just makes me laugh. On the one hand this is man who is doing some good, if overly sensationalized, journalism and helping make the world a safer place by putting some really evil people behind bars. On the other hand, taking his quotes out of context has to be the creepiest (and disturbingly hilarious) thing ever.

That's my awkward segue into finding a Chris Hansen soundboard out on the internet, which takes those very quotes entirely out of context. Not only is this soundboard NSFW, I also highly recommend not listening to any of this anywhere near loved ones, or generally within earshot of anyone else entirely. You've been duly warned.


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Photoshop Flailing: The most awkward moment of all time

These weekly reader submission photoshop contests from Cracked.com are really addicting for two reasons: One, I really want to win one of these... or at least appear as one of the selected entries. Two, they already choose a subject for me to practice and ply my photoshop skill.

You can find all the entries here, but the theme of this week's contest is "the most awkward moment of all time".

This one is awkward because the boom mic guy ruined some otherwise great footage:

"That's one small step for man... one giant- DAMMIT, GARY, GET OUT OF THE SHOT!"

Here, Santa finds himself on the naughty list with Chris Hansen on an episode of "To Catch a Predator".

Have a seat.

With sincerest apologies to Thích Quảng Đức and his ultimate protest, this would be pretty awkward:

She didn't even bring enough to share!

Click here to continue reading "Photoshop Flailing: The most awkward moment of all time"

Oct 3, 2008

Rube Goldberg machine FTW!

This has got to be one of the coolest Rube Goldberg machines ever. Created in Garry's Mod, something I've been playing around with lately, this video is one huge contraption to do a very simple task (not spoiling it, watch the video).

Also, the theme from Indiana Jones plays in the background, which is just plain awesome. Now if we could only create a Rube Goldberg machine to thwart Nazi's and have Sean Connery as a father, I could die a happy man.

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Oct 2, 2008

TF2 Comic: Spontaneous Cranium Inflation

I was playing around in Garry's mod once again. It sure is a pain in the but working with the TF2 ragdolls, but it seems like every time I do it I learn something new. This time I had some fun with the inflator tool. Check it out:

Click for a higher resolution.

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Oct 1, 2008

Andrew WK for president

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby nominate a new candidate for the presidency. A man with strong convictions. A man of the people. A man who is not afraid to tackle the big issues and has a plan to do so. I nominate, as the presidential candidate of the just-formed PARTY Party, Andrew WK:

America's been sucking pretty hard lately, and Andrew realizes that many Americans are suffering. Wars oversees, the current state of the economy, health care, failing education system, aging infrastructure, and lack of partying are all issues that we as Americans need to address. The American people need a change.

Take a look at his credentials. Andrew WK's singles include:
  • Party Hard
  • It's Time to Party
  • Party Till You Puke
  • Long Live the Party
  • Make Sex

This is a man who knows how to party. Andrew pledges to turn America into one great big party. How will partying help, you ask? In several ways.

For one, America will be a huge party, which will raise our standing on the global stage. We'll gain the reputation for being the cool country. Also, we'll be reaching out more often to other countries - asking for their RSVPs. Everyone will want to be invited, as it'll be the bitchingest party ever.

Also, we can charge a cover to other countries, to pay for the cost of the party and fix the economy. We're thinking, like, $10 bucks for a keg cup at the door. Heck, if only China shows up, our economy will be solved! Of course, we're secretly hoping Sweden shows up so we can make out with her. And failing Sweden, her roommate Ireland will do.

War in Iraq? More like party in Iraq. Heck, I bet even Osama bin Laden (if he's still alive) would travel from Afghanistan to show up to that event. Boom, war's over.

So when you go to vote this November, vote for change. Vote for Sweden make-outs. Vote for Andrew WK.

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