Jun 30, 2009

Awesome trick shot video is awesome

Basketball was one of my favorite sports growing up. I'd spend hours upon hours shooting hoops on my hugely uneven driveway. Depending on the side of the driveway, you'd be up or down a foot in elevation. But I didn't care - when I had a basketball in my hands, life was good.

No matter how much I would ever practice, I don't think I could ever hope to be as good as this guy. Bruce Manley shows off some trick shots that border on the supernatural. I can't imagine how much time was spent practicing and putting together this footage.

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Jun 29, 2009

The Unwind, on vacation

If you can read this, then you already know. I'm on vacation, and likely will be wrapping up my trip to Cape Cod by the time this gets posted.

I don't have anything to say, and really haven't the time to peruse the internets with distractions and wonders of the entertaining variety. So you'll have to make due with the following haiku:

Google Image Search:
"Vacation". Turned up creepy
muscle man. Honk! Honk!

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Jun 26, 2009

You Laugh, You Lose (At Life)

This is wrong. But I'll be damned if it didn't make me laugh.

It's a little known history fact that Hitler was actually a very promising singer when he was a young Austrian boy. His soulful style and delivery were well ahead of his time. It's unfortunate, then, that he gave up that career so early in life to go on and be a car salesman. He was a car salesman, right? I never paid attention in history class...

Anyway, at one of the dealership conventions, he was picked to entertain the crowd. Deciding to test the old pipes, he delivered a tune so moving, historians decided to put it up on YouTube for preservation:

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Jun 25, 2009

Do A Barrel... Monster?

I'm convinced the South has no sense of humor.

In what has to be one of the best college pranks ever, some a college student and a construction worker in North Carolina decided to chop up three traffic barrels to make a "Barrel Monster". This is one awesome monstrosity:

Of course, the state wasn't too happy about the destruction of their property. But instead of having a sense of humor about all of this and just making the two pay the $365 for new cones, the state of North Carolina arrested them for vandalism. Come on, NC... even the company that makes the cones is asking the charges be dropped.

(via MSNBC)

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Jun 23, 2009

Burger King to offer a new sexual value menu?

It's an adage touted by marketers and car salesmen alike: sex sells. And while this is generally true, Burger King decided to be the exception to the rule.

This advert for the Burger King Super Seven Incher is just wrong. The innuendo in and of itselt isn't the issue. It's that BK's food makes me feel fat and greasy - not sexy. It's trying to combine my sex and hunger drives in a way that causes an internal riot. Also, TOO MUCH MAYO.

And I can't help but keep imagining the King watching this woman deepthroat the sub. Always, always watching with his cold, soulless eyes.

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Star Trek on Acid

I had always suspected that the cast of Star Trek was doing some kind of hallucinogen when they did half the crazy stunts they pulled. Heck, I'm pretty sure they just invented some laws of physics. You know, Picard's first law of plot holery or something like that.

This video represents what I believe is the Enterprise's "down time". Enjoy!

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Jun 21, 2009

At least you're not this guy...

You ever walk around in a city somewhere and you see someone dressed incredibly outrageous? To a point where you're not quite sure, but you think they're either setting a trend or mentally retarded? 9 times out of 10 you're looking at a hipster*, and chances are they're both.

Don't have access to local hipsters? Then check out Look at This Fucking Hipster. It's a great site that basically points out a lot of ridiculous bs that youngsters try to pull to be "cool".

I probably shouldn't point and laugh as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, it's funny, it's just we did this kind of crap when I was in college, too. There just wasn't a website to chronicle it all (heck, Facebook had just come out).

*A hipster, according to Wiktionary, is defined as:

  • a person who is interested in the latest trends or fashions
  • a member of Bohemian counterculture
  • an aficionado of jazz who considers himself to be hip
Also, this guy:

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Jun 19, 2009

A Cappella Makes Anything Better

I'm going to let you in behind the curtain a little bit. I hate posting back-to-back YouTube videos on The Unwind, especially when said videos are the crux of the post. This is because I really feel like I starve the writer in me. Practicing my writing and expressing my own ideas was half the reason I started this blog.

That said, I can't ignore the awesomeness that is "On a Boat" done a cappella. A bunch of plucky youngsters from UC Santa Cruz sought to take one of the more ridiculous (and hysterical) SNL music videos, and totally take it up a few notches. These kids don't even need a boat to rock like they're on one.

Consider your day made.

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Jun 18, 2009

Today is Unintentional Homoerotic Euphemism Day

Yes, today is Unintentional Homoerotic Euphemism Day. You didn't know? Better get on the horn, reach out to a friend and get an earful of hot, sweaty knowledge because it is.

To celebrate Unintentional Homoerotic Euphemism Day I present to you "Carrot Highway", a unintentionally hilarious kids video all about one of nature's most phallic vegetables. I wonder if this was a low point in the careers of our hosts "NIGEL!", "CASSIDY!", and "Tom Gorman". As a bonus, after the video's sanity-eroding song you're treated to a monologue by an animated carrot cowboy.

I can't believe I just typed that last sentence.

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Jun 17, 2009

Ramblings of a late man

What first started as a self-imposed deadline to write on this blog has, much later, developed into a habit. I have a predisposition to not break habits, both to my benefit and detriment, so I'm moderately upset I couldn't get to this as normal. Sadly, events have conspired to make this update late - some legit, some the direct result of TF2's awesomeness when shared with friends.

First, the shameless plug stuff:

Returning to TF2, it's taken the lion's share of my video game time once again. There's just something about the new release that has really drawn me back. Whether it's the new maps, the seventy billion tweaks Valve's made to really balance the game, the fun new unlockables, or the multitude of flammable flammable spies running around, I'm hooked again.

The only disappointment with the new unlockables is the Dead Ringer. I love it's concept and I want to use it - you get a non-lethal hit and you instantly cloak, with your opponent thinking he actually killed you. What's I think is missing is a way for the Spy to cloak without taking damage. Even if it's super gimped, and drains 2x as fast as when not taking damage, it would greatly improve the item's usefulness. As is, the Dead Ringer leaves the spy no way of infiltrating enemy lines except acting like an obvious spy.

This scan-and-color pen is ridiculously cool. You have it touch a color you want to replicate, and it mixes the different inks it has to then write in that color. Is there a photoshop equivalent of this? I don't know, being a digital art novice, but I would really enjoy something like this when making my shoops.

And lastly this video, as the name implies, does not stop being funny - even after 100 viewings!

Regularly scheduled updates to follow!

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Jun 16, 2009


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Jun 15, 2009

Leonard Nimoy's Seaman Is All Over This Post

For those of you who don't (or won't) remember a time when Sega was still in the video game console business, the Dreamcast was a college student's dream. It was well ahead of its time in terms of graphics and hardware, a fairly good library of games to choose from, and cool little virtual memory units that acted like little Game Boys. I still have fond memories of my machine.
One "game", quotes indicating a loose application of the term, that really stood out was called Seaman. Essentially a pet simulator gone wrong, you have to hatch, raise and care for you half-man, half-fish abomination.

Caution: Your mind's about to be blown

And while the premise itself was fairly intriguing, how you interacted with your sin against God was particularly awesome: a microphone. Yes, packaged with every Seaman game was a microphone attachment you would use to literally give your Seaman commands. The controller was used primarily to drop food into the tank and to tap the glass, but once you had Seaman's attention it was all voice commanded.

The freakiest thing is, after a while, it started to talk back to you. And have emotions and feelings and hopes and dreams. At least I think so, I never played it long enough to watch it graduate from Seaman college. Come to think of it, Seaman college may not even be real. But they did develop personalities.

Mine were always bastards.

The challenge of the game was that you really had no idea what you needed to do to evolve and raise these Seaman. You had a microphone and a tank. To help you with this was narration by, no lie, Leonard Freaking Nimoy. His soothing voice overs are seconded only by Morgan Freeman's, and they were like the rich, chewy exterior in the caramel apple that is this game. My only wish was that he had more narration, if only to tell me what to do with the tank. I really had no clue most of the time.

To give you an idea of the gameplay:

I'm not a fan of any kind of simulator genre, particularly because I like to escape reality with my video games. If I wanted to learn a flight simulator, I'd rather learn to fly. If I wanted to tend a virtual pet, I'd just get a real pet. But Seaman was novel enough for me to overcome, and I'm really glad I did. Seaman is an interesting experience, one I wholly recommend to anyone who can find and assemble the necessary Dreamcast equipment to play it (particularly the microphone).

Just don't raise your Seamen to be bastards.

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Jun 12, 2009

Post-its are the Twitter of the analog world

I'm a huge fan of well-made, creative stop motion. It's no secret. And if it was, I just ruined it. Are you happy now?

No? Well, this video probably will make you so. It's called "Deadline", and it uses post-it notes to create pixel-esque animation. This is one of the most ingenious, most clever videos I've seen in a while, complete with a really catchy Royksopp track (that I'm unfamiliar with, but is awesome anyway). Enjoy!

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Jun 11, 2009

Amazing find of the week: LyricWiki.org

The internet is a strange and wondrous place. And every so often, you find something truly useful.

LyricWiki is, as the name implies, a lyrics-based Wiki. True, lyric websites are hardly revolutionary, but this one stands out among the rest.

The sheer amount of lyrics that can be found in one place is staggering. I have yet to stump this site - every song I've look for lyrics for has been there. And it's all organized incredibly well - by song title, artist, album, genre, hometown, label, or language. Why you'd even bother with some of those options is beyond me, but it's all there.

I spent a lot of time browsing for artists, and when I happened upon one I'm met with a clear, clean discography of which I can choose any song and see the lyrics of. I'd like to think something like this wouldn't get me excited, but compared to a lot of other lyrics sites, this is simply more streamlined.

Which brings me to my next point, this site's execution is far away one of the best I've seen for a lyrics website. Granted, it has the look and feel of your out-of-the-box wiki, but approach works for so many other websites (read: Wikipedia), they did good to leverage it. Also, ads aren't littering your screen and hurting your eyes. So, you know, yes to Shinedown lyrics; no to "click here and win a free iPod".

The only small frustration I have is the search engine the site is using. While I've gotten spoiled by Wikipedia's awesome "here's your article/disambiguation page" search, this runs a google varient that always returns way more info than you need. A minor annoyance, but well worth tolerating for the rest of the benefits this site has to offer. For best results, search both the artist and a song title.

It's certainly the site I'm using from now on. I recommend you check it out for yourself.

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Jun 9, 2009

Not Down

Oh god, not more Jehova's Witnesses!

I'm a sucker for just about everything that Dreamworks or Pixar puts out. I know they're geared towards a younger audience, but these movies have plenty of entertainment for adults. I also will probably never outgrow my love of cartoons.

A recent trend in these movies is to make them 3D, which really adds to the movies and all but guarantees that I'll go see whatever it is they put out. Seriously, if they put 2 girls 1 cup in 3D, you know I'd go see it. I'd regret that decision, sure, but I'll have already bought the ticket and want to stick around to get my money's worth.

So Disney/Pixar's (Dixar?) latest incarnation, Up, is about a man trying so hard to keep a promise to his wife. We first see the two in their childhood meeting up in an abandoned house, find out they share the same spirit of adventure, and are then treated to a 5 minute montage of their lives together, culminating in Ellie's (the wife's) death. Their dream was to live at Paradise Falls, so Carl - the old main character - in a incredible disregard for building code, attaches a ton of balloons to the house and flies off.

This movie was funny, and Ed Anser was amazing as the crotchety old man. I must confess, one of my favorite TV shows growing up was Freakazoid, and every time the old man was on the screen, I kept imagining Cosgrove. The other characters played off him incredibly well, including a naive boy scout, a large rare bird, Carl's childhood-hero-turned-rival, and an army of talking dogs.

I was taken aback, actually, at the amount of emotion that was inherent in this Pixar movie - there were times where you couldn't help but feel sad. This movie brought my girlfriend to tears on more than one occasion.

The 3D aspect of the movie never really jumped out at me. This means it was either done poorly, or so well that I wasn't noticing the 3D details. Given Pixar's reputation I'm inclined to think the latter, but that's the ironic thing about details - do them well and no one notices. I'll have to watch it in non-3D (likely when the DVD comes out) for comparison.

Verdict: See it in theaters

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Jun 8, 2009

Every class is different

Have kids? Love TF2? Do you want to read your kids a bedtime story AND teach them about TF2 all at the same time? Or maybe you didn't like this awkward, rapid-fire question set-up and would just like to see a hilariously well done TF2 video?

It's "Every class is different" - a TF2 children's book, as read by the Spy.

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Jun 5, 2009

So India and Japan walk into a bar...

Ok, stop me if you've heard this one before...

So India and Japan were talking one day, and India was feeling a little self-conscious. Japan asked what was getting it down. India replied, "You know, being me is great and all, but you've got such an awesome reputation for being batshit crazy. I wish I could be as bizarre as you."

Japan, both touched at the compliment and moved by India's predicament, decides it wants to help its good friend India out. So, like any good friend, Japan gets India all liquored up. You know, to remove the inhibitions. Then Japan asks "Ok, India, you're primed to go crazy. What can you do really well?"

"Let's see, I've got a growing economy, rich culture and the largest population of any country." India said in a proud, drunken slur.

"Hmm... not much to go with there. What else?"

India paused for a minute, having gone over its main strengths already. After a moment of reflection, India asked, "Well, how about Bollywood?"

Japan's eyes widened. "Perfect! It's recognizable enough, yet it hasn't really been used to do anything weird, perverted, crazy or just insane previously. How about... a condom commercial?"

And thus, the epic Bollywood condom commercial was born. You can see the fruits of their labor embedded below.

I warn you now that this video NSFW for dancing condoms, drawings of penises, and a general assault on your sanity.

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Jun 4, 2009

The coolest toy I never got to play with as a child

When I see something like this, I get pissed. Pissed, not because of what it is or what it represents. But pissed because I didn't get to play with stuff this cool when I was young. It's a Pez dispenser that's also a toy gun. It shoots delicious, delicious Pez. How freaking cool is that?

These were taken off the market because, apparently, having kids stick a gun in their mouths and pull the trigger is a no-no.

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Jun 3, 2009

TF2 Sniper Practical Joke

Apparently, someone's been messing with BLU's ammo cabinet.
(for a higher-res version, click on the below image)

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Jun 2, 2009

We've all been there...

This is the most epic of theoreticals wins. I say theoretical, because the below is a step-by-step guide on how to win over a girl that you're friends with, but she's seeing someone else. To collapse it's singularity into the "win" state, you need to act these out on your own.

Not recommended fellas, especially if you already have that special lady in your life. But I will say, this guide worked for me to great effect. It's how I met my current girlfriend (no it isn't).


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Jun 1, 2009

Flipping Out (literally)

This video is by no means new, especially when held to the universal "internet time" standard (2 hour shelf life before it becomes old). I don't care. I'm going to start your week off right, with 2 scoops of awesomeness. If this video inspires you to be even a fraction as awesome as Damien Walters is, I guarantee you this'll be the best week of your life.

Now go forth, and be awesome.

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