Click for a high-res version of the internet's entrance
Dear sweet God, I've found the mother load: the physical entrance to the internet. Through my exhaustive research, and my happening to pass a local car dealership in Bristol, CT, I've finally located it. Armed only with my wits and some Jolt Cola, I'm going to head in later and report back on how it goes.
However, it's late and I'm pretty sure the entrance is closed. That means that this will be, oddly enough, the second time in my life I'll be accessing the internet with a brick.