Nov 4, 2008


How we should do things in 2012.

Every 4 years, there is an event that captures us as a country. The American people come together to witness and partake in the enduring qualities that make us proud to be a part of this country. And the near constant media coverage is just icing on the cake.

But since the olympics are already over, the presidential election will have to do.

I don't care if you're busy, sick, dealing with biblical weather or dead... go vote today. Especially if you're dead, because that would be really impressive. Also, illegal.

And if you're still undecided on who to vote for, remember to write in Andrew W.K., the only candidate that will fight for Sweden make-outs.


Gawain83 said...

how would being dead make it illegal?

Jon Baker said...


Dead people can't vote. Legally speaking, that is.

Personally, I just think this is just another case of gerrymandering and discrimination of the "living impaired", but that's a whole other topic entirely.

Gawain83 said...

i would think that if the dead were citizens of the US and registered voters before they died, then how could it be illegal? what document prohibits the voting by dead persons?

Jon Baker said...

Following your scenario, they still die somewhere between registration and voting. So you don't know who that person was going to vote for until the vote is cast. And Ouija boards don't count, I totally felt you move the thing last time.

Also, I don't want to hear about zombies. They're not allowed to vote for entirely different reasons.

Gawain83 said...

what the hell do you have against zombies!! they are the LIVING dead! so since they are at least partly alive, that should be fine, so long as they don't eat to many brains on the way to the booth.

on another note, what if a dead person left instructions as to who they thought they wanted to vote for? or what if they got an absentee ballot, filled it out, and then up and died. shouldn't that be counted! i think their voice should be heard too!

Jon Baker said...

Zombies don't show up to vote. Unless voting consists of feasting on the flesh of the living. In which case they definitely vote more than once, and that's illegal.

Also, I'm 99% sure you have to be alive to cast your ballot (or at least sign the absentee ballot), or it doesn't count. So a signed absentee ballot cast before death should count, but leaving instructions prior to death (but not actually casting anything) shouldn't.

I'm actually trying to cite a source so I'm not just pulling this out my ass, but you'd be surprised how not helpful a google search of "voting death also metallica" is. I've pieced together some of it reading the following article:

Also, we've appeared to hijack these comments for our own personal side conversation. How goes it? Did you finally get citizenship and vote this election?

Gawain83 said...

haha...that's quite an interesting article. and i must say, i don't know if i would have been as inclined to vote if i was voting next to zombies. so, it's not necessarily a bad thing i guess that they don't vote.
anyway, i've been doing well. just working mostly, but that's not new. oh, and yes, i did vote in the election. they figured since i have such a varied ancestry, that i was the poster boy of the "melting pot" idea of america.