Nov 25, 2008

Rumor: Fed's recent bank pledges part of upcoming Punk'd episode

Anonymous insiders into the U.S. Federal Treasury have indicated that recent loan guarantees and bank pledges, which represent $7.7 trillion of taxpayers money, are all a part of Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson's elaborate prank that he plans on revealing on an upcoming episode of Punk'd.

"Truth be told, Paulson was just shooting from the mouth at first and didn't realize that the press was listening [when he first talked of bailouts]," an insider informed The Unwind on condition of anonymity. "But then, the stock market kinda liked the idea and we kept running with it. Honestly, we thought people would have caught on by now. Paulson almost suggested infinity trillion dollars, but that would have been too obvious. ...Right?"

"How he has been able to keep a straight face through all of this is beyond us. But I guess that's why they pay him the big bucks," the informant added.

Reports indicate that Paulson will hold a giant "money giving" party in the Federal Treasury, having invited all his bank friends. In it, he plans to hand the bankers huge sacks with dollar signs on it filled with Monopoly money. All at once, he'll ask the bankers to open their sacks simultaneously, followed by Ashton Kutcher coming out of nowhere and pointing to the camera a lot.

The episode will air during May sweeps on MTV, for those people fortunate enough to still be able to afford cable and electricity.

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