lol, refrigerator drama

Don't you hate it when you put food in a refrigerator, only to have it stolen or consumed by a roomate or co-worker? Someone at my work today certainly does. And they saw fit to leave a note on the fridge in order to guilt whoever did the dastardly deed.

Now, I'm very sympathetic to the person's frustration, but this is freaking hysterical. Full of dramatic self-righteousness, it reads like a tirade from Keith Olberman or Bill O'Reilly. Or at very least a pissed off LiveJournaler. I've reproduced the typed up note below, with the only change to remove my company's name... see for yourself what I mean:

Whomever helped themselves to my Coke - you stole from me. In fact, you stole right off my dinner plate, where the soda sat yesterday afternoon. Thank you for reminding me of the reality of the world, even this smaller [company name] community - that as much as I'd like to trust others, there are people like you that lack integrity and are not worthy of another's trust.

I think the reason it's so funny to me is because it's like this person filled out a bad Mad Lib. In fact, I'm making this a Mad Lib right now. Fill in the following words to complete your own refrigerator note below:

• Object:
• Another object:
• Food:
• Progressive verb (ending in -ing):
• Noun:
• Organization name:
• Verb:
• Plural Noun:
• Virtue:
• Adjective:
• Noun:

Aaand, the Mad Lib:

Whomever helped themselves to my [object] - you stole from me. In fact, you stole right off my [another object], where the [food] sat yesterday afternoon. Thank you for [progressive verb] me of the [noun] of the world, even this smaller [organization name] community - that as much as I'd like to [verb] others, there are [plural noun] like you that lack [virtue] and are not [adjective] of another's [noun].