Feb 3, 2009

Rick Astley Russian Roulette

Traditionally, when two people have equal, legitimate claims to something the issue has been resolved in one of a few ways:

  • Rock, paper, scissors.
  • A court of law.
  • Gladiatorial combat.
  • Political Campaign.
  • Via lengthy debate, where the winner is the one who can more masterfully argue the "c'mon, dude" principle.
These methods may have been all well and good in the past... but this is the 21st century, where the future is yesterday! We need a new method that is true to today's culture - something fast, sexy, definitive, pointlessly competitive and moderately annoying.

Well, all you lazy, technologically adept mediators of the world, I've got your answer: Russian Roulette. Rick Astley Russian Roulette.


I just wanna tell you that you lost the argument at hand.

What you need:

An ipod (with earbuds), a copy of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up", and 5 other random songs.

Instructions:
  1. Create a playlist on your ipod with Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" and the 5 other songs.
  2. Set the iPod to randomize all songs.
  3. The two parties in the argument each put an earbud in their ear.
  4. One person takes the iPod and navigates to the created playlist, but before even diving into the songs in the playlist, hits "play" when the playlist name is highlighted. This then starts the playlist on a random song.
  5. If Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" (the "bullet") plays, that person loses the argument.
  6. If a song other than Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" plays (an "empty chamber"), the iPod is passed to the other person.
  7. Repeat steps 4-6 until someone gets Rick Rolled.

There you have it. A fast, decisive, moderately annoying method of solving any dispute, all tucked nicely into a sleek little iPod. Be warned - while this method is generally less fatal than real Russian Roulette, the loser will probably want to kill himself anyway for having just been Rick Rolled.

1 comment:

JM said...

Alternatively, the RPG version!

-Each player has 5hp max, starting with full hp.
-Rick Astley's award winning ballad damages you for 5hp
-Two other songs, like Chocolate Rain or Dragostea din tei, take off 2hp each
-Three remaining songs are properly awesome and heal 1hp.
-If you win the argument, you can't back down and have to do it again until you're level 80.