Attention World: Douchebag!

Courtesy of a friend of mine, I was alerted to a recent New Jersey judge's ruling in a libel case brought on by some "hot chicks" and "douchbags" against the Hot Chicks With Douchebags website. The verdict? The word "douchebag" is acceptable so long as it's used for "humorous social commentary". Under those circumstances, "douchebag" is not considered libel or slander making the term perfectly legal. Let's examine how this could get out of hand:

• When aren't we making social commentary? Everytime we express one's opinion about something we're commenting on it. Direct that criticism towards others or groups of people and it becomes, by definition, social commentary.
• To complete the libel/slander shield, make sure you have friends around. If you go off calling someone a "douchebag" and it seems inappropriate - LAUGH. Pretend it's meant to be a joke, and therefore intended to be humorous. Suddenly you've just made humorous social commentary.

Bear in mind this ruling happened in New Jersey. It's a state whose biggest export, next to refined fuels, is douchebags. You can see how that state might go lenient on all the douchebaggery, but it still remains to be seen if the nation at large would follow suit.

That said, this has HUGE potential ramifications. I can now potentially say, without penalty, that all politicians are douchebags. I envision a day where Phillup Douchebag no longer has to hide under his gimped moniker. This could even eventually turn the term "douchebag" into a badge of pride for some, like "geek" is now.

Also, in case you hadn't picked up on this yet, this whole post was an excersize in seeing how often I could use the word "douchebag" without seeming like an actual douchebag. Douchebag. (Ha ha ha, get it? No?)

DISCLAIMER: New Jersey isn't all bad. I have many great friends and family members who live there, and there are some really beautiful parts to the state. But the douchebag export thing is 100% true.

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Way to go Connecticut!

God, I love my state.

A friend of mine recently stumbled upon Connecticut's latest aim to get kids recycling. Now, I think we can all agree that recycling is a good thing, and that impressionable kids should be encouraged to do it. What better way to convince them than to create a mascot for kids whose sole purpose is to promote environmentally friendly habits? What could go wrong?

A lot, apparently. Meet Phillup D. Bag:

Gaze into the soulless, murdering eyes of recycling

Phillup D. Bag. Let that sink in for a second. Yes, it's a play on words. Yes, they're trying to get kids to fill up some kind of bag for recycling.

But "D. Bag"? As in, an abbreviated form of "douchebag"? Who in the holy hell let this one slip by? We're supposed to be the most educated state in the country, and this was the best we could do? Was "Recycling Mo Fo" taken by another state? How about "BJ the Dumpster"?

At any rate, way to go guys! At very least you're being upfront and honest with my tax money here... it's going to fund some D. Bag. You bunch of Phillups.

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