Pure epic

History is rife with examples of how two awesome things are put together to form an even more awesomer thing: peanut butter and chocolate; rock and roll; Stephen Hawking and speak-and-spells. This 2-combo bar has been the gold standard for thousands of years of human history.

Until today.

Some grand alchemist decided he would go for the impossible. He would combine not two awesome things together, but 3. Mad, is he? Sure, I'm sure he got that a lot in his quest for human combo advancement. I'm sure his kids cried little kid tears when father wouldn't come home again because he's set afire with purpose and flashes of insight.

So I humbly present to you, something unimaginably epic - a video game that combines Pheonix Wright, Elite Beat Agents, and Queen.

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So India and Japan walk into a bar...

Ok, stop me if you've heard this one before...

So India and Japan were talking one day, and India was feeling a little self-conscious. Japan asked what was getting it down. India replied, "You know, being me is great and all, but you've got such an awesome reputation for being batshit crazy. I wish I could be as bizarre as you."

Japan, both touched at the compliment and moved by India's predicament, decides it wants to help its good friend India out. So, like any good friend, Japan gets India all liquored up. You know, to remove the inhibitions. Then Japan asks "Ok, India, you're primed to go crazy. What can you do really well?"

"Let's see, I've got a growing economy, rich culture and the largest population of any country." India said in a proud, drunken slur.

"Hmm... not much to go with there. What else?"

India paused for a minute, having gone over its main strengths already. After a moment of reflection, India asked, "Well, how about Bollywood?"

Japan's eyes widened. "Perfect! It's recognizable enough, yet it hasn't really been used to do anything weird, perverted, crazy or just insane previously. How about... a condom commercial?"

And thus, the epic Bollywood condom commercial was born. You can see the fruits of their labor embedded below.

I warn you now that this video NSFW for dancing condoms, drawings of penises, and a general assault on your sanity.

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LED Sheep(le)

You know what they say about farmers and shepherds who are bored and lonely...

...they make epic LED sheep projects. Right?

In a fantastic display of patience and creativity, the Baaa-Studs - their name, not mine - went to Wales to herd sheep in really cool ways. Knowing firsthand how difficult it can be to get even two seemly-rational humans to agree on something, I'm incredibly impressed at how well these guys coordinated the animals' movements (especially in the dark).

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Epic Megaman rap is epic

No wait, it's actually beyond epic. It's bepic.

This fan-made rap narrative of the entire Megaman 2 story, with a random addition of Protoman. The remixes are awesome, the lyrics are hysterical, and the overlay of actual gameplay and sprite manipulation is well done. It may be NSFW, but it's worth your time if you have any love for the Blue Bomber.

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Epic Music

One time my freshman year in college, I was playing a game of Age of Empires 2 (a real time strategy game) with a couple of my hallmates in my dorm. I was quick to build up my army and attached. Just as I did, I blasted Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" as loud as my speakers would allow me. The distant profanities from the would-be doctor down the hall were incredibly satisfying, to say the least.

"Ride of the Valkyries" is in the category of songs I like to call "epic music". You know, the music that makes any activity, no matter how exciting or mundane, significantly more awesome. I work out a little harder at the gym when AC/DC's "Back in Black" starts playing. Paperwork becomes a life or death dogfight at 15,000 feet when I'm listening to Kenny Loggin's "Danger Zone". Even doing taxes becomes somewhat bearable when "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" (the Kill Bill theme) comes around on the ol' iPod.

What say you? What are the songs you listen to when you need that little extra boost in your daily routine?

Please note, The Unwind has issued an epic music Public Service Announcement.

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Public Service Announcement: Epic Music

You've just read a post on epic music here on The Unwind.

While the benefits to epic music are obvious, there are hidden dangers to epic music that are, well, hidden and often go unnoticed. While you're listening to it, and shortly there after, you may be tempted to do outrageous things that could endanger yourself, others or (worse still) be really embarrassing. Even being exposed to second hand epic music can cause erratic changes in behavior.

Some facts:

• Reckless driving onset by rocking out to "Freebird" accounts for 70 percent of all "Freebird"-related injuries.
• The Pirates of the Caribbean fight music has been scientifically proven to increase blood flow to the part of the brain that controls sword fighting.
• With the exception of professional boxers, listening to "The Eye of the Tiger" anywhere near a boxing ring increases your mortality rate nearly twenty fold.

We at the Unwind hope you do continue to enjoy epic music. But please, listen responsibly.

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