This marketing plan is the shit

Hey marketers! Want to really reach out and connect with the young generation and show them what a wonderful product it is you have? Why not supply them with some infotainment they can see in their normal communication channels. Viral videos these days are all the rage, but you're savvy enough to know that for a video to catch on, it needs to be something worth talking about. What do you do?

Well, if you're the people behind msi laptops, you strip the internet down to its essence and portray your product in that scenario. Yes, I'm talking about making a video of a team of spandex clad youngsters, who look like they're having the time of their lives catching your laptops in their butts. Wait, what?

I COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED.

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Burger King to offer a new sexual value menu?

It's an adage touted by marketers and car salesmen alike: sex sells. And while this is generally true, Burger King decided to be the exception to the rule.

This advert for the Burger King Super Seven Incher is just wrong. The innuendo in and of itselt isn't the issue. It's that BK's food makes me feel fat and greasy - not sexy. It's trying to combine my sex and hunger drives in a way that causes an internal riot. Also, TOO MUCH MAYO.

And I can't help but keep imagining the King watching this woman deepthroat the sub. Always, always watching with his cold, soulless eyes.

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More Hasslehoff than you can handle

So long Facebook! Goodbye MySpace! Hello... David Hasslehoff?

From deep within the "Dear God, Why?" area of the internet, comes a new kind of social networking. One that revolves solely around Knight Rider and Baywatch star David Hasslehoff. For real.

I can't really tell you much more about it because my head hurts when I look at the site for too long. Most everything outside of the splash page requires you to be a member or sign up. It apparently has videos, a forum, active members and-

I'm sorry, I can't do this. It's Hasslehoff. I'll go great lengths to find the internet's dirtiest, darkest corners, but even this is crossing some kind of line. This is what a computer must feel like when it tries to divide by zero.

One thing I can say, with confidence, is that overexposure to concentrated David Hasslehoff is bad for one's health. Please view "HoffSpace" responsibly:

http://www.davidhasselhoff.com/

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