Burger King to offer a new sexual value menu?

It's an adage touted by marketers and car salesmen alike: sex sells. And while this is generally true, Burger King decided to be the exception to the rule.

This advert for the Burger King Super Seven Incher is just wrong. The innuendo in and of itselt isn't the issue. It's that BK's food makes me feel fat and greasy - not sexy. It's trying to combine my sex and hunger drives in a way that causes an internal riot. Also, TOO MUCH MAYO.

And I can't help but keep imagining the King watching this woman deepthroat the sub. Always, always watching with his cold, soulless eyes.

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There must be something in that chocolate...

Cadbury, best known in my neck of the woods as those delightful chocolatiers that make the cream eggs every Easter, apparently keeps all of the really good stuff for themselves. I say this, because there is no way any marketing team is creative enough to churn out some of the ads they have without being on some mind-altering drugs (or, more plausibly, mind-altering chocolate). The type of chocolate they seem to be freebasing manifested itself some time back when they put together an ad involving a gorilla doing his best Phil Collins impression, and another with airline trucks racing down a runway.

Most recently, Cadbury put out a new advertisement centered around two kids and their eyebrows. It's one part sublime comedy, one part whatever that substance is that causes nightmares. See for yourself:

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Trust me, I'm a doctor

It's not often I get requests to write about particular topics here at The Unwind, and it's even rarer that I accept them. But when I was asked to explore the "[x-1] out of [x] [experts] agree" tagline used by countless products today by a coworker, I couldn't resist.

"4 out of 5 dentists approve..."
Which dentists? Are the 4 dentists any good? Is that lone dissenter the voice of reason against the other incompetent dentists? What about the next 5 dentists? Maybe those next 5 all realize that the product causes cancer. It certainly would have been good to know before I bought that asbestos-bristled toothbrush.

"9 out of 10 doctors agree..."
Fantastic! Are the agreeing doctors in related fields? Or even in relevant fields? I honestly don't care if a proctologist recommends Tylenol over Advil, because he better be giving me something a bit stronger than that both during and after a procedure.

And what's to say that these are even doctors of medicine and nothing totally irrelevant like philosophy or theology? Oh yeah, that creepy professor from your local community college totally thinks that Trojan condoms are the best... he recommends them to all his students!

"4 out of 5 experts think the 5th expert is stupid"
Now that's a statement I can get behind.

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Monkeying around

While I'm not inclined to be advertising on The Unwind at this time, the other day I heard possibly the most amazingly ridiculous radio commercial ever made for Ticketsnow.com. Words can't quite capture it, so have a listen:

http://blog.ticketsnow.com/mp3/01.mp3

It's a fairly effective commercial, because after only one exposure to it I not only remembered Ticketsnow.com, I decided I needed to hear this commercial again. Not able to find it after about 15 minutes of searching for it online I actually contacted the company's marketing department, who pointed me to their blog (where it's hosted).

All that for an advertisement. Don't say I never did anything for this blog.

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