This is an idea that I hate myself for for not thinking of sooner.
You ever take a picture, only to realize after the fact that it's horrible? Multiple driver's licenses I've seen and owned can attest to this fact. Best case scenario, it's something you can laugh off with your friends. Worst case scenario, you make people recoil like watching the Elaine dance.
But what if you take the time to get your family together, get all dressed up, and have your picture taken by someone who at least knew how to operate a high-end camera (not just point-and-shoot)? What if the picture then turned out horrible? Likely, you'd be featured on Awkward Family Photos:
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/
It's a site dedicated to capturing and sharing all awkward family photos, mostly to hilarious results. Started about a month ago, it updates very frequently (apparently, there's no shortage of these photos).
Truly the internet is a magical place.
May 12, 2009
Awkward Family Photos
May 11, 2009
News, sans the LOLcats
When I typically go to look for the day's daily events, I find myself on content aggregators such as Reddit or (if particularly masochistic) Digg. As I find myself pretty in tune with the communities on those sites, they serve as a great proxy to the news and goings on of things I'm interested in.
THIS turned up on the first page of a Google Image Search for "news". If it wasn't done by a 5 year old, I'm sad for humanity.
To be sure, there are a lot of great news articles on these sites that relay the important events that are happening in our world. But for every serious article about the economy, I get yet another conspiracy theory around 9/11. For every article about peace talks in the middle east, another professes their unnatural love of Ron Paul. For every death of someone who has shaped and improved our lives in some way, a LOLcat image.
What if I just want the wide-reaching benefits of an aggregation site, focused on actual news of the day written by respected journalists? Well, there's no site that perfectly does this yet. But I am glad I stumbled upon Rayogram's newspaper aggregator.
http://www.rayogram.com/news/
What it is, is a service that takes the front pages of every major newspaper from around the world and puts them on this site. Updated daily*. We're talking most of the major US newspapers, several smaller market US newspapers (Hellloooo, The Oregonian), a few British newspapers, and some Middle East newspapers, all at a glance.
You won't get to read the articles themselves - the font is too small - but you get to see what's pressing in the day's events. Perfect to then take to my regular news haunts (Reddit, Digg) and see if I can pick out articles explaining the situations further.
Equally interesting is to see what's important to whom. The main headline for today's Guardian, for example, is about the possible dissolving of Parliament. Chicago? They're more concerned about any sleeping issues you might have. The WSJ says the world's markets are getting back into the trading game, while Detroit's paper felt the urge to assault me with color.
Something for everyone! Go check it out, it's interesting, at very least.
*DISCLAIMER: When it's actually working. Some days have been a little dodgy, but as of the writing of this post, the day's news are accurately updated. Click here to continue reading "News, sans the LOLcats"
May 8, 2009
TF2 Scout is a Surprisingly Effective Salesman
The title really says it all. He's finally sold me on a Slap Chop.
May 7, 2009
Review: Knowing
As usual, I'll try my best not to spoil anything here for you. But given that the entire plot was given during commercials/previews, and people's natural resistance to watch anything with Nicholas Cage in it (except maybe pachinko machines), if I slip up I'm not going to get too worried about it here. So if you're Nicholas Cage and I'm spoiling the movie for you: sorry.
Like I said, the movie's plot was given to you in the commercials: Nicholas Cage and son get some set of random numbers which predict a lot of disasters and eventually the end of the world, and they've got to figure out what to do about it. The interesting thing here is this kind of parallels how the movie went. Once Cage figures out the numbers are a warning, he too understands the world's going to end. He knows he can't change it, he just has to deal with the inevitable. It's a suspense thriller that takes some outlandish, yet believable turns.
SPOILER ALERT: This movie wasn't terrible.
While I'm trying not to spoil anything, the "ok, the world's going to end. What now?" question that went through both the audience's and Cage's head was really believable and played out to create the right amount of tension.
A few things of note:
- This movie takes place on a planet where bad parenting is the norm. Cage is a single parent father who apparently needs to get good and sauced to watch the news. In a span of a few days, I saw enough emptied hard liquor bottles to put some frat houses to shame. Also, Cage meets up with a woman, herself another single parent, as they try to understand what's going on. In the course of investigating, the two leave their kids in the car for long stretches of time out in the woods when they know (spoiler alert) something or someone has been targeting their kids.
- The acting in this movie was in-line with expectations. I expected awkward, bumbling Nicolas Cage and I got awkward, bumbling Nicolas Cage. Thank God the plot was compelling enough to overlook this, and that some (though not all) of the supporting cast was pulling the slack.
Would I recommend this movie to others? Yes, but not to watch in a theater. There are a few blockbusters coming around the bend probably more worthy of your time and money. But make this a rental when it comes out, and I don't think you'd be disappointed.
Click here to continue reading "Review: Knowing"May 6, 2009
U Can't Touch Mormon Jesus
A friend of mine recently sent me a video that he said I needed to post on The Unwind. Giving his opinion the weight it deserves, I checked the recommended video "U Can't Touch Mormon Jesus". My reactions to the video were the following:
Viewing 1: What the shit is this?
Viewing 2: No way am I putting it on The Unwind.
Viewing 3: Why am I still watching it?
Viewing 4: Mormon Jesus' head bobbing is freaking awesome.
Viewing 5: "STOP! Mormon Time!"
Viewing 6: LOL.
Viewing 7: This is like a really good (or really bad) 80's Saturday morning cartoon.
Viewing 8: I wonder if Mormon Jesus can be summoned by the Planeteers.
Viewing 9: ...I think I need to pitch an idea to the Mormon Church (again).
Viewing 10: Oh God, why can't I get this out of my head?
Viewing 11: ALL HAIL MORMON JESUS, INVADER OF HEADS.
The bastard was right. I need to inflict this upon the you, the reader share with the masses. Behold! Mormon Jesus!
May 5, 2009
Full Throttle, the non-interactive version
Back in its heyday, LucasArts made some damn fine video games - particularly of the adventure variety. They were the masterminds behind the Monkey Island series, Maniac Mansion, Day of the Tentacle, Grim Fandango, and my favorite: Full Throttle.
It's you're standard story of the biker-turned-hero, Ben, who has to clear the Polecats', his gang's, name after they are framed for the brutal murder of the president of the last remaining motorcycle company. The game, typical of all LucasArts games, had great humor, challenging puzzles, and interesting characters to really keep you interested.
Someone took the liberty of playing through the game and splicing it together into one long video for your enjoyment. Which is good, because now you don't have to spend hours finding a stupid crucial lockpick you can barely see in a door that's SO not obvious playing the game.
"Help me, Ben! You're my only hope!"
May 4, 2009
Uncomfortable plot summaries
Extremely condensed movie plots, made as offensive and politically incorrect as possible:
http://www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomfortable-plot-summaries/
Example: SOPHIE’S CHOICE: Mom loves one of her kids way more than the other one.
What better way to describe something, than in the format it itself uses? These reviews are pretty funny, and the list is actually pretty comprehensive. It's a good read, or if you'd ever like to describe a movie to a friend, this is the perfect way to do it.
May 1, 2009
It's the final countdown. Made awesomer.
If they had to pick a winner of the "most awesome thing ever" contest right now, this guy would take the award. Not content with playing just one retarded instrument, this man combines 3 retarded instruments together to form one super-retarded instrument capable of inspiring awe and pity. But mostly awe. It's called a Kazookeylele. Loosely translated into English, it means "awesome".
Add to this he's playing Europe's "Final Countdown" and, well, this video is full of win.
Apr 30, 2009
Dangerous gaming peripherals are dangerous
A friend of mine sent this article to me the other day, but I honestly forgot to post it. Gamespy did a great piece on 5 of the most dangerous gaming peripherals out there. What's bittersweet about this article is that I bet all of the ideas seemed like good ones at the time. "The time" of course, likely being happy hour and under the influence of enough tequila to give alcohol poisoning to an elephant.
They even have the PediSedate on this list!
http://www.gamespy.com/articles/974/974711p1.html
Apr 29, 2009
Awesome Alternative Business Models
Do you like BBQ? How about foot massages? Are you tired of having to go to two separate places to get your BBQ and foot massages? Why am I asking all these questions? THIS:
I want this to be real so very very badly, but given the video and the general quality of their site, I'm guessing "Jones' Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massasge" isn't a legit business venture.
Capitalism, you've let me down for the last time...
Apr 28, 2009
Humanity's Foibles
I love witnessing the human condition in it's raw, pure form. Like when all the airs we put on and the social norms we're conditioned to build come crashing down upon us. While we all try to be gentlemen or gentleladies, we sometimes go against this grain either accidentally or intentionally, naievely or maliciously. It is these moments that expose our flaws and vulnerabilities - an intrinsically human act. And honestly, that's just part of mankind's charm.
It's not everyday you get to witness these kinds of things first hand, but two sites that I've come across sure give you innumerable tiny glimpses:
- FmyLife - A constantly updated database of anecdotes in which people are trying to display exactly how F'd their lives are. I can't tell you how many times I was crying laughing, and how many times my jaw was dropped reading some of these stories. Seriously, there should be an internet rule 34(b) - if you can think it, someone probably did it (or at least wrote a story about it on this site).
- Texts from Last Night - A site where people send in random texts or short correspondance they've received/had. While FmyLife has the advantage of being coherent stories, this site captures messages originally intended for a more intimate audience - a friend, family member, or significant other. The content here is simply more raw and random, but intruiging nonetheless.
If I could ever be bothered to sit down and do it, I'd add these and a few other sites to that frakking recommended list on the right.
Click here to continue reading "Humanity's Foibles"Apr 27, 2009
The US housing market crisis: A summary
About a week ago, while perusing the oft-interesting and irrefutably-titled This is a Blog, a challenge was laid to take a current event and put it into humorous picture squares. Or comics. Whichever term you prefer.
The point is I did one. And since I've been brought up to believe that sharing is good, here's my take on one of the many underlying reasons why the US housing market has tanked (what started this whole horrible economic mess we're in today):
Apr 24, 2009
There's a zombie on your lawn
Sometimes, I really hate my friends.
Case in point: a few of them turned me onto an upcoming PopCap game, Plants vs. Zombies. Or to be more specific, they turned me onto a music video for Plants vs. Zombies. From what I can tell in this video it's a "defend your castle" type game which I can only assume will be executed to near-perfection, given PopCap's reputation.
But I can't get the f'ing song from the music video out of my head. It's brilliant in that it's catchy enough for me to repeat it ad nauseum, yet ridiculous and funny enough for me to not go insane for having it stuck in my head.
You win this round, PopCap. Actually you've won every round so far, but still...
There's a zombie on your lawn... Click here to continue reading "There's a zombie on your lawn"
Apr 23, 2009
Ubunchu
I grew up in a town that had a church who was heavy into spreading the word of God. I'm all for religion (being Catholic myself) and spreading the message of one's religion, but their activities bordered on the cultish, particularly targeting teenagers. As such, they organized student events targeted at teenagers, hold regular fairs at their church - prominently displayed on a main road - and even once stood outside my middle school with clown suits and picket signs. They'd be handing out pamphlets and, no lie, comics to help get their message across to teenagers.
How is this anecdote relevant, rhetorical literary device I'm using to segue into my main point? Because there is a manga out that is trying to extol the benefits of Ubuntu, called Ubunchu. My keen cult senses and defenses I'd developed over the years aren't just tingling, they're going all Paul Revere "The British Are Coming!" in my system.
The sad thing is that I actually support Linux and Ubuntu in principle. True, they've yet to sway me from my familiar Windows operating systems, but they've come a long way and I likely will at least try it out with my next computer purchase. Just... don't do this again, ok Ubuntu community?
I'm honestly not sure if this manga is helping or hurting its cause. Either way it's an assault on your sanity. Go read it!
You can either visit the site, or jump right into the manga (like all mangas, the panels read right to left).
Apr 22, 2009
Alphabet soup and sandwich
Do you like words? How about sandwiches? How about games that combine both words and sandwiches? If so, the aptly-titled "Word Sandwich" game is just for you!
http://www.wordsandwich.com/
It's a really addictive time-waster, in which you furiously mash the keyboard in frustration try to deduce 5 separate 5-letter words, one at a time, as quickly as possible. On each word, you take a guess and are told immediately if your guess was alphabetically higher or lower than the hidden word.
Each guess nets you less and less points until you run out of guesses (you have something to the tune of 25 guesses per word). However, if you take too much time between guesses, you lose your word multiplier.
Ironically, it's much easier to see in execution than it is to explain using words (or sandwiches). Check it out, but don't be surprised if you lose more time to it than anticipated.
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