I was talking with a coworker today, and we started talking about what was the oldest browser we could post on Blogger with. Somehow out of this line of conversation I found the inspiration to do an old-fashioned text adventure game style post. I just kinda ran with the idea, and somehow came up with the below. Hope it makes for a good read!
You can find the rest of it after the break.
Welcome to The Unwind Text Adventure Game! You find yourself in a room with a computer.
] Look around room.
The room is dimly lit, with electronics and clothes strewn about the floor. You are alone, staring intently at a blank computer screen.
] Talk to nearby person.
There is no one in the room.
] Good, watch porn.
This is a text adventure.
] Fine, blog.
What would you like to blog about?
] Blog about ideals.
You've already attempted to watch porn this game. Your ideals are severely compromised.
] Shut up.
Unknown command.
] Blog about nonsense.
You begin to blog about nonsense, but your character suffers from writer's block. Please remove writer's block from your character before continuing.
] Procrastinate.
How would you like to procrastinate?
] Watch porn.
Seriously, stop it.
] Fine, watch television.
It's 3 AM, and Ron Pompeil is hawking his latest merchandise, the Showtime Rotisserie and Solid Flavor Injector.
] Determine comedic value of products.
The Showtime Rotisserie can be set and forgotten, but the Solid Flavor Injector is both hysterical and disturbing.
] Remember solid flavor injector.
You make a conscious effort to remember the solid flavor injector.
] That's what she said.
Again, you are alone in the room.
] Watch p-
Don't even say it.
] Fine, blog about nonsense.
You are still suffering from writer's block. You cannot blog until you remove writer's block.
] Blog about Solid Flavor Injector.
You come up with a hilarious, but off-color, joke involving the Solid Flavor Injector, a couch and the corpse of Ralph Macchio. It makes for a great opening paragraph.
] Wait, Ralph Macchio's dead?
His career is, yes.
] Google Ralph Macchio.
Unknown command.
] Search internet for Ralph Macchio.
Ralph Macchio isn't currently in the internet.
] Facepalm.
Unknown command.
] Change channel on television.
You see a rerun of The Hills. In this episode, Whitney tells Lauren she'll be leaving for New York tomorrow. It's sudden, but Whitney looks excited, whilst Lauren looks a bit shocked. Then Whitney asks about Doug -
] OH GOD, TURN OFF THE TELEVISION!
The television is now off.
] Roll a save against my sanity.
18 - Congratulations! Your exposure to The Hills has left your sanity somewhat in tact.
] Define "somewhat".
You don't want to know.
] Yes I do, I just asked.
...said the crazy person.
] Status of current blog post.
Your post consists of an opening paragraph with the hilarious, but off-color, joke about the Solid Flavor Injector, a couch and the corpse of Ralph Macchio.
] Screw it! Copy and paste the introduction paragraph 12 times.
Your blog post now consists 12 identical paragraphs with the hilarious, but off-color, joke about the Solid Flavor Injector, a couch and the corpse of Ralph Macchio.
] Add random YouTube clip, submit post and go to sleep.
Congratulations! You've successfully completed The Unwind Text Adventure game!
Showing posts with label The Unwind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Unwind. Show all posts
Sep 4, 2008
The Unwind Text Adventure
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
